Mood:  caffeinated
Now Playing: Scent of a Woman, Maybe?
Spring is here, so sayeth my calender. I hope everyone had a lovely Ostara. I planted some herbs indoors last week, and they're already sprouting. The first ones up are the thyme, chives, and oregano. I'm still waiting on the basil and the dill.
To update you out-of-staters of the weather here, it snowed a few days ago and dumped us with about 8"...I've had dates that didn't get nearly as tall. But that's a blog for another day, and another audience. This is a family blog. LOL!

Anyway, this is the time of year when the deer hunters start planning the fall hunt. As you all should know, more and more women have been hunting over the past 10 years. Unfortunately, they are statistically worse than men at it. Being a woman myself, I will try to explain why. First off, it's not because women can't fire a gun, Bonnie Parker & Annie Oakly taught us that women can easily fire guns, and that we have pretty good aim, too. Personally, I think it isn't so much that we are the "weaker" sex, which we aren't, I think it is more what most women wear when they go hunting. Like all deer hunters, they wear the several layers of warm clothing, which makes them look about 50 pounds heavier. On top of that, they wear the usual blaze orange coat, pants, and hat, which kind of makes us look like giant citrus fruit from a distance.
However, it's not what can be seen that's the problem. It's what can be smelled. Early in the morning, they wake up and take their showers, thousands of women deer hunters. They wash their hair, rinse and repeat, then condition, then they wash the rest of their bodies, when they get out of the shower, the put on some lotion so their skin doesn't get dry, and then they get put on their deoderant because hours of wearing heavy clothing gets pretty sweaty. This is the problem. Peach and rose-hips shampoo, followed by melon-berry conditioner, add onto that some vanilla-strawberry body wash, slather on a touch of orange-cranberry body lotion, and top it all off with a bit of ocean breeze scented deoderant. Get dressed in a bright orange suit and go out to hunt some animals who live off a vegan diet. Yessir.
Let's take a deer's look at this for a moment. You're a deer, you sniff something on the wind. It smells like fruit. So, you walk towards it to investigate. Then you see it, a gigantic orange, and it's just sitting there in the middle of the woods...holding a gun...walking. It dawns on you, the food that love, has mutated into some horrible, dangerous creature that's trying to kill you! You run. Hell, I'd run away too if I thought my food was trying to kill me.

Okay...I just went off on a rampage there...and I ended up in a very weird place...so I'll stop there.